Resources on coping and caregiving for families with a loved one facing end-of-life

If you have a loved one who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and perhaps is in hospice care, you may be struggling to cope with care, conversation, and complicated emotions. While you can try to journal about your grief, there are also more focused guides out there that will help you explore your emotions in a structured way instead of writing freeform. Here are some free, simple, downloadable worksheets for how to handle the difficult situation of having a loved one with a terminal illness. 

Things You Want To Say 

Sometimes you don’t know how much time you have left with your loved one, and that can be very painful. But you should also acknowledge that what time you have left is very precious and should be taken advantage of. If you feel comfortable enough, these worksheets can help you think of things you want to say to your loved one now. Things you’ve thought but have never said, like “You’re someone who has used your life to touch so many others. I’ll always feel incredibly lucky that mine was one of them. ” or simple things like “I love you.”

Here is a list of prompts from Hallmark writers that offer sample statements if you have trouble expressing yourself, as well as things you should avoid saying to someone who is dying.

Here is a goodbye letter worksheet for after experiencing the death of a loved one, but you can also use it to explore things you want to say to your loved one in the present. Favorite memories, things they taught you, or your favorite personality traits about them, for example. 

Daily Routine

Use this worksheet to write down a typical daily routine of your loved one; this way if you ever need someone to fill in for you as caregiver or if you have multiple caregivers, then the person will know how to appropriately care for your loved one. 

Care Values Worksheet

This set of worksheets is focused on the values a patient has about their medical care. While it is geared more towards the patient than the family, working on it together could represent an opportunity to clarify medical care and lead to larger conversations about life, death, and legacy.

A Caregiver’s Guide

This particular guide is for specifically those who have loved ones with Parkinson’s disease, but many of the worksheets apply to anyone with a loved one with a terminal illness. If you are heavily involved in your loved one’s care, this guide can help you help your loved one to the best of your ability, as well as ensure you are taking care of your own wellbeing. The specific worksheets contained in this guide include

Caregiver Self-Assessment

Because being a caregiver can take a lot of energy and time, this worksheet asks you about your physical and emotional state, such as if you are getting exercise, eating and sleeping enough, and setting aside time for you. Then it will give you a score measuring how well you are caring for yourself; you can take this assessment repeatedly to track your wellbeing and make adjustments to your routine as necessary. 

Medical Appointments, Treatments, and Schedules

This worksheet helps you write down important thoughts or information about your loved one’s medical care. You can write down concerns to ask their doctor at the next visit, keep track of your loved one’s medicine, and make note of information that their doctor might need, such as current exercise routine or the address of another doctor that a copy of the appointment dictation should be sent to if needed. Keeping this type of information organized may help with feelings of control and anxiety over medical care.

Parkinson’s Symptoms Diary

This one is a bit more specialized for Parkinson’s disease, though with a little creativity, it may be applicable to other illnesses. Many symptoms of Parkinson’s can be bothersome and interfere with day-to-day quality of life. Patient and family observations can help the medical team make a care plan or see if there is a pattern to when Parkinson’s symptoms occur.

Adding Family, Friends and Volunteers to Your Caregiving

It’s important to give yourself a break every now and then, and allowing other people to help you care for your loved one is encouraged, both for your mental health as well as for the other people who want to help the loved one and you. This worksheet gives a space to write down the names of other people who want to get involved as well as activities that they can do with the loved one, such as take the loved one out to lunch, or maybe take a walk in the park.

Orienting a New Home Care Worker & Questions to Ask a Potential Paid Individual Caregiver

If you are considering hiring someone to help you, these worksheets guide you into the process on how to interview a caregiver and then give your new caregiver clear instructions and expectations. 

Grief worksheets

Part of having a loved one with a terminal illness is preparing for their death. This doesn’t just mean the practical side, such as funeral arrangements and maintaining a will, but also emotionally preparing. Because you are likely already experiencing something called “anticipatory grief,” you can take steps to prepare yourself to cope. Here is a list of worksheets to help you cope with grief, some of which can help you educate yourself on the grieving process and become more knowledgeable about coping methods. 

Having a loved one with a terminal illness comes with challenges and emotional turmoil, but this can be lessened with the proper preparation and coping methods. Looking at these resources shows how dedicated you are to your loved one, and is the first step to adapting to your situation. Writing down your feelings can help you process your emotions, as well as give you clarity and closure. Although the road ahead may seem fraught with obstacles, we hope these worksheets will guide you into a better tomorrow. 

Avery Tamura