Keeping The Peace Over The Holidays

With Thanksgiving Day a little over a week away and the holiday season just around the corner, families across the nation are preparing to come together and celebrate the occasions.

Though these times and gatherings are meant for eating, drinking, and general merriment, conflict and hostility have their ways of intruding on tender moments and souring what would have been sweet memories. 

While it may be easy to let disagreements over politics, life choices, and other assorted issues go unchecked and spoil the festivities; families must nevertheless work to resolve these conflicts and not allow them to escalate, for the sake of those directly involved with said hostilities and the family unit as a whole.

To keep familial friction from harming not just the holiday celebration, but also future gatherings and relationships within the unit, comprehension of basic conflict-resolution methods can be both effective and even necessary in certain extreme situations.

TRY TO KEEP EMOTIONS IN CHECK

Whether the topic of debate is a trivial matter such as politics or sports, or a heavier topic like controversial child-rearing methods or alternative lifestyle choices, remaining emotionally neutral during arguments and not allowing certain feelings to steer the conversation is essential to quelling tensions and keeping hostilities to a minimum.

When emotions are allowed to run rampant and dictate the course of a heated interaction, people tend to let their mouths move quicker than their minds and say things that can irreparably damage a relationship. 

During moments wherein tensions are growing high and people may say things they will regret, acknowledging the turbulent atmosphere and suggesting that the conversation be paused and resumed at a later time is the best course of action. When this is done, both parties can gather their thoughts, quell any hostile/angry feelings, and even possibly realize the meaninglessness of the entire argument. 

QUESTION THE HILL BEING DIED ON

In the heat of an argument, regarding certain issues as matters of life and death can be incredibly easy. Ego and pride are masters of making every mountain the spitting image of a molehill. When arguments escalate to this degree, extreme damage can come as a result of relatively meaningless issues.

To keep hostilities from spiraling out of control and potentially inflicting long-lasting injuries, taking a moment to envision the debacle from the perspective of a third party is an excellent way to understand how minute the issue is relative to the risk of hurting a loved one.

ISOLATE THE PROBLEM FROM THE PERSON

Some individuals are incredibly passionate about certain topics, and there is nothing wrong with that. Passionate people make for positive change in the world. However, when one’s passion for a particular cause, ideal, or belief causes them to begin burning bridges and ostracizing people they were once close to, then there is cause for concern.

During arguments at family gatherings or any other occasion which centers on issues of particular importance to one or more parties involved, each participant in the disagreement would do well to realize that neither they nor those with whom they are arguing are the summation of their beliefs on certain topics. They are individuals with unique experiences, backgrounds, and valuable traits who are not defined by their outlook on a certain subject. Once this is realized, the potential for irreparable damage being done to a relationship or familial unit significantly decreases.

Thanksgiving and the winter holidays are times for families to get together and celebrate their respective faiths and spend quality time together, but no matter how hard people may try to avoid it, conflict and hostility have their ways of intruding on these tender moments. For moments such as these, comprehension of simple conflict resolution methods can be all it takes to save the day. 

— Tucker Shuff