For those suffering from complicated grief, here's how to get help

It is common to experience grief in stages following the loss of someone who held an important role in your life. Typically this leads to a place of acceptance and the ability to move forward. However, for some, moving through these stages on your own can be incredibly difficult. You may feel “stuck” and unable to fully move to acceptance.

It is possible for this grief to develop into something more serious, something that can interfere with daily functioning and can be debilitating if not resolved. These symptoms may be a sign that a person is experiencing Complicated Grief Disorder (CGD), also sometimes known as complicated bereavement disorder. 

Fortunately, there are many forms of treatment available for moving on from grief. Seeking help from a therapist is a great way to have someone with knowledge and experience help guide you to making peace with loss.

Is my therapist the right fit for me?

There are two important things to consider when seeking help for complicated grief disorder. One is finding a therapist that is a good fit for you and that you feel comfortable and emotionally safe with. The other is finding a grief treatment that works for you and helps you meet your goal.

When first seeking a therapist, it can be helpful if that therapist has past experience with what you are going through. Seeking a therapist who has experience with grief therapy or complicated grief disorder can ensure that they are familiar with treatments that can be helpful for you.

Another aspect to consider is your personal connection with the therapist. 

• Do you feel you can be authentic and honest in your conversations with them? 

• Do you feel comfortable around them? 

• Do you feel heard and validated in your sessions? 

• Are they adaptable and open with their approach? 

These are great beginning questions to help decide if a therapist will be a good fit for you. It is also always okay to see more than one therapist while searching for a good fit. 

Complicated grief therapy

A common approach to Complicated Grief Disorder is Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT), a type of psychotherapy rooted in attachment theory that works to identify and solve symptoms of Complicated Grief Disorder.

CGT uses aspects of interpersonal therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and motivational interviewing, and can be a highly effective treatment due to its specific creation directly moulded by knowledge of complicated grief disorder.

Complicated Grief Therapy works to target how your feelings affect your behavior, and how to process past events and reach healing goals. It can work to strengthen your current relationships while preserving the memory of past ones. 

Other treatments to consider

Cognitive behavioral therapy can also be a helpful and effective way to deal with Complicated Grief Disorder. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is specifically designed to aid with mental health by identifying and addressing thoughts and emotions stemming from the inability to cope. CBT follows a plan to change the way in which you perceive an event or feeling and how you can cope in a healthy way and learn to process and move forward.

Grief counseling can also be effective in seeking help for a grief-related condition. Grief counseling can be an option for a variety of grief-related disorders beyond complicated grief, which can be very beneficial if you are unsure if you are experiencing complicated grief. Grief counseling can also be anticipatory therapy if you are expecting a loss and wish to seek counseling prior to experiencing the loss.

Remember that seeking help is never something to be ashamed of and is a huge first step to finding peace within the grieving process. For more resources on mental health in response to grief, check out our article on virtual mental health resources for dealing with grief.

— Missy Roney