Publish an obituary and social media tribute
Publishing an obituary is one of the five most important things you can do after a loved one dies. In addition to adding meaning to the process of grief and providing an outlet for mourning, it can help bring together friends and family of the deceased for a memorial/funeral service.
Here are some steps to follow and guidelines on a standard format:
Decide where you want to publish the obituary.
Usually, an obituary (or death notice) is published in a local newspaper to let people know about the death. Newspapers charge for obituaries.
Often you can find who to contact about writing one by searching “Your local newspaper’s name” and “obituary” in a search engine.
You may also find details of how to submit an obituary to a newspaper at this link.
Ask them if they accept obituaries from individuals or if you will need to work with a funeral home.
Ask about length and style requirements.
Your funeral home may also be able to help you.
Write the obituary or death notice.
Decide how much information you want to share:
An obituary reports the death with a sketch of the person's life and information about the funeral.
A death notice is shorter and just reports the death. A death notice may be legally required if the deceased person's assets are going to probate.
A standard format is:
Photo
Full name (including maiden name and nickname)
Location and year of birth, but DO NOT INCLUDE BIRTHDAY. It can be used by identity thieves.
Location and date of death
Some people include cause of death
Biographical info - names of loved ones, schools attended, military service, career, organization memberships, hobbies/interests
Location, day, and time of a funeral or memorial service (if public), or say that they will be private
List if you’d like donations made to a charity or to the family instead of flowers, for example, “In lieu of flowers, please consider…”
You can share the obituary to social media to let an extended group of friends, family, and acquaintances know about the death.
From our experiences, there is no right way to deal with death on social media. However:
Posting to social media is recommended only after you have already let close family members and friends know in person or over the phone
Give the family the time and space to post first
Make sure to get your facts straight
Honor your loved one's wishes
Common things to include in the tribute are:
Picture(s)
Their name - you can tag the person’s profile
Location and date of death
Some people include cause of death
Location, day, and time of funeral or memorial service (if public) or say that they will be private
List if you’d like donations made to a charity or to the family instead of flowers, for example “In lieu of flowers, please consider…”
You can also include biographical information or information on your personal relationship
Once you are ready to post, share the tribute to the social media sites the deceased used frequently (e.g., Facebook, Instagram).
For a full guide on how best to craft a social media post about a loved one’s illness or death, click here.