If you're suffering from survivor's guilt, here are tips on how to cope

When a person survives a traumatic event that others did not, it may lead to a condition called “survivor’s guilt.” With it, survivors may question how and why they escaped death while others lost their lives. They may also wonder whether there was something they could have done to prevent the traumatic event or preserve life.

While it was once a diagnosis in its own right, mental health professionals now consider survivor’s guilt to be a significant symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In this article, we’ll go over the surprising findings on who may experience survivor’s guilt, how to recognize it, and how to cope with it.

Who might experience it?

People who may experience survivor’s guilt include:

• War veterans

• First responders

• Cancer survivors 

• Crash survivors 

• Natural disaster survivors

• Witnesses to a traumatic event

• Family members of those who have developed a fatal hereditary condition

• Those who lose a family member to suicide

• Parents who outlive their child 

Symptoms

When people survive a traumatic event, they may experience feelings of guilt about: 

• Surviving when others did not

• What they did during the traumatic event

• What they did not do during the traumatic event 

People with survivor’s guilt can often experience other symptoms of PTSD, including:

• Flashbacks of the traumatic event

• Obsessive thoughts about the event

• Feelings of helplessness and disconnection

• Fear and confusion

• Lack of motivation

• Seeing the world as an unfair and unsafe place 

Causes

While survivor’s guilt most often occurs in people who have experienced a traumatic event, not everyone who lives through such an event develops feelings of guilt. Factors that increase a person’s risk of experiencing guilt after surviving a traumatic event include:

• A history of trauma, such as childhood abuse

• A family history of psychiatric problems

• Lack of support from friends and family

• Alcohol or drug use 

Research suggests that survivors can hold false beliefs about their role in an event, which can lead to feelings of guilt. Having these beliefs increases the severity of PTSD symptoms, including feelings of guilt and distress. These beliefs can include exaggerated or distorted ideas about:

• Their ability to predict or prevent an outcome

• Their role in causing negative outcomes

• Wrongdoing on their part 

Tips for coping with survivor’s guilt:

• Accept and allow the feelings. Even though survivor’s guilt is not always rational, it is a recognized response to trauma. Accept and allow the feelings that surface. Take time to process the guilt, grief, fear, and loss that accompany a traumatic event and the loss of life. If these feelings are overwhelming or do not begin to get more manageable over time, it is important for a person to seek help.

• Connect with others. Share feelings with family and friends. Or, if loved ones do not understand those feelings, look for a relevant support group. Both face-to-face support groups and online communities allow survivors to connect with others, express themselves, and ask questions. 

• Use mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness can be beneficial for people who have experienced trauma, especially during flashbacks or periods of intense and painful emotions. Try ground techniques, which may include focusing on the breath or noticing sounds both inside and outside the room. 

• Practice self-care. Experiencing an event involving loss or potential loss of life is frightening and overwhelming. Survivors can benefit from doing activities that they enjoy, such as reading, taking baths, creating art, or listening to soothing music. 

When survivor guilt is so severe that it impacts a person’s ability to function in daily life, the support of a therapist or counselor may be recommended. A therapist can help individuals manage and process painful emotions and challenging distorted patterns of thinking that may contribute to guilt. Although feelings of guilt associated with surviving a life-threatening event can be painful and difficult to overcome, it is possible to address and cope with such feelings. It is an important first step to acknowledge those feelings and recognize that they are both common and a natural part of the process of healing from grief.

— Jamie Lim