How to grieve the death of a child or infant
Words could never describe the pain, sadness, or grief that comes with death, and the death of an infant or child is especially wounding given that their lives are most connected with a bright and hopeful future. Despite advances in medical technology, babies still die during pregnancy, birth, or soon afterward. Young children continue to be affected by cancer or other illnesses, suffer from accidents, or become victims of violence or self-harm.
It is taken as a given that parents will outlive their children; thus, no parent could ever be fully prepared for a child’s death. Nor does the length of a child’s life determine the size of the loss. It is a loss that is felt by a family as well as by a community, and it can evoke a range of emotions, including intense shock, disbelief, denial, overwhelming sadness, extreme guilt, fear or resentment, questioning faith or beliefs, or intense loneliness. (If you are having these feelings, talk with a professional like a doctor or counselor.)
There may also be intense guilt about things that went unsaid, or that could have been done to prevent the death. As a parent, there may be the thought that one is “responsible” for the loss of a child. You may find yourself grieving the hopes and dreams you had for your child, the potential, and the experiences that will go unshared. It may feel like you have lost your identity as a parent, or that the pain of the loss will always be a part of you.
Several organizations that understand this profound sense of loss and can support families and communities trying to cope with a devastating event are listed below:
For the loss of a child:
Alive Alone: An organization for parents whose children are deceased, this site provides a self-help network and publications to promote communication and healing.
Bereaved Parents of the USA (BP/USA): A national non-profit self-help group for bereaved parents, grandparents, or siblings struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of a close child.
Compassionate Friends: Provides friendship, understanding, and hope to those grieving the loss of a child.
For the loss of an Infant:
Abby’s Gift: Assistance with funeral and burial expenses, cremation expenses, pediatric medical equipment, etc.
A Memory Grows: A charitable organization that serves as outreach for grieving parents.
American Pregnancy Association (APA): Phone line to assist women and families facing pregnancy loss and education services for infertility, pregnancy health, and complications.
Angel Names Association: Assisting families of stillborn children through financial assistance and counseling services.
Baby Steps: Resource center for parents and children who have lost a child or sibling.
Grieve Out Loud: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Q&As offering comfort and answers to some questions.
Hannah’s Tears: Offering Christian support to couples facing the loss of a child at any time from conception through early infancy.
Infants Remembered in Silence (IRIS): Offers education and resources to families, friends, and professionals who have experienced the death of an infant.
Journey of Heart: A Healing Place with resources and support to help those in the grief process.
Love & Loss Project: Offers monthly retreats, healing programs, and private sessions for women and couples across the globe.