How Do You Help a Loved One Who Is Grieving?

When someone we care about is experiencing the loss of a loved one, we, of course, want to do our best to be there for them. Although we want to help out in any way possible, we might feel lost when it comes to what exactly we should be doing. Perhaps we are afraid of saying the wrong thing, saying too little, or saying too much. It is frustrating seeing your loved one in pain and feeling like there is nothing you can do to make it better.

Many other factors affect how we handle the situation. We might be experiencing grief ourselves. Or maybe we have never faced a loss and feel like we are unable to fully understand their pain. Talking about grief can be intimidating and is often accompanied by feelings of helplessness. Many people feel like they do not know how to best help friends and family members who are in need of their support.

The good news is that caring for a grieving person does not have to be complicated. Although it may feel like nothing we do will ever compensate for their loss — helping out does not have to be anything extraordinary. In fact, it often involves just being present and offering to help out with everyday things.

The illustration below shows how you, in simple ways, can offer compassionate support to someone who is grieving. The illustration comes from the Instagram account refugeingrief, run by Megan Devine, a counselor and author, specialized in how to help someone who is grieving. Follow the link to explore other hopeful and realistic posts on different aspects of the grieving process.

Another equally informational and empathic creation by Megan Devine is this YouTube video. As an expert on intense grief and loss, she offers a genuine and profound way to think about the initial question of: How do you help a grieving friend? When all you want to do is make your loved one’s pain go away, the video may work as a useful reminder.

The video’s message can be summarized into three main points:

1. The way to help someone feel better is to let them be in pain.

2. Simply listening makes things better even when things can’t be made right.

3. Being heard helps.

At Peacefully, we recognize that emotional support following the loss of a loved one is central to healing. Everyone will experience grief at some point in their lives. Just as taking care of an infected wound is knowledge everyone should acquire, we believe knowing how to be a support to someone who is grieving is an equally important skill. Oftentimes, the support we get from friends and family is central to our grieving process, and ensuring that people feel comfortable in this role is something we care deeply about.

In addition to the tips included in the illustration above, what do you think is important when talking about grief with a loved one? We are looking forward to hearing about your valuable first-hand experiences.