Why Your Story Matters at The End of Life
How do we want to be remembered? According to a recent study by Merrill Lynch and Age Wave, more than half of Americans say that they most want to be remembered for the memories they have shared with loved ones: the long dinners in good company, the experiences of new places together, and the moments of difficulty they overcame. Most of all, when we are gone — we want our loved ones to remember the experiences we shared, who we were, and what made us — us. In other words, it is not our greatest achievements or material possessions we most want our families to bring with them as we are gone.
It is the everyday events and the moments shared with loved ones throughout life that matter the most at life’s end. A wonderful way to assure yourself and your loved ones that these memories will be kept alive is to help them write down or record their life story. In our day to day life, we might not ask the people who we feel like we know inside out questions such as: “What do you see as your purpose in life?” or “What’s your happiest or proudest moment in life?” However, when they are no longer with us, these are questions we often wish we had the answers to. If we don’t take the time to sit down and ask these questions, chances are we’ll never know the answers.
Other than providing the opportunity for you to cherish your memories together, creating a life story has several benefits. It can help you reframe challenging life events or bring out new sides of a situation you have not thought about in years. The process of talking about specific events from your past can increase self-esteem and counteract rumination. Other than simply being an enjoyable activity, it can help to create self-acceptance and compassion for one’s past self. Moreover, having open discussions about life events — both those that you are proud and ashamed of — is an excellent gateway to forgiveness and understanding.
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