How to make a "memory box," a tangible way to remember loved ones

Every person processes and experiences grief in a unique way. Similarly, there are unique, creative steps we can take to remember those whom we’ve lost, from legacy letters to mini-memoirs. Creating a memory box is another one of those ways, a special and physical reminder of someone’s life that may also help us work through grief. 

A memory box is a place to store treasured keepsakes. It contains a selection of unique items that belonged to a loved one, and that can be kept safe and in a location ideal for easy viewing. It can be created by anyone who wants to remember a loved one who has died, or by someone who wants to be remembered, such as a parent who wants to pass on their memories to their children'.

A memory box can be made from something as simple as a a lidded cardboard box, shoebox, or a box specifically for the purpose. The memory box can be personalized by decorating with paint, fabric, or markers, and you can attach a photo of your loved one on the lid.

It may be tempting to put anything and everything in a memory box, but to ensure you have a memory box that you enjoy looking, here are some ideal things to include:

  • Old photos of a loved one that were taken at special events such as weddings, holidays, or graduations

  • Personal items including clothing, jewelry, books, or a diary/journal

  • Any keepsakes from your time together - concert tickets, postcards, notes/cards given from them to you or vice versa

  • Anything that reminds you of them - related to their hobbies or interests, for example, a flower from the garden they tended

  • A bottle of perfume, or a candle scent that reminds you of them

  • Messages or cards received following their funeral 

Some items to leave out of your memory box include

  • Anything that will deteriorate unsafely over time

  • Anything that, when you look at the box in the future, does not hold a specific memory about the person

  • Anything that you do not value as precious

  • Anything that can evoke bad memories. Sad memories are OK and normal, but it is recommended to leave out bad memories associated with the person so that they can be remembered in a positive way. 

Listed below are some sites that sell memory boxes that you can personalize:

  • Remember Me Gifts sells wooden boxes that are personalized for the family member you lost. They cost about $55, and some come with painted designs.

  • White Confetti Box sells a lovely white box personalized with the deceased's name, which costs about $16.

  • Heart to Heart Sympathy Gifts sells traditional wooden and metal bereavement boxes and musical memory boxes. Pricing ranges from around $38 to $52. 

  • Personalization Mall sells several types of memory bereavement boxes. They cost between $22 to around $50, depending on your final selection.

Remember that you do not need to finish the box in one sitting. Instead, take your time to pick and collate special items that remind you of the person. A digital version of a memory box can also be created by saving photos into a document or PDF.

Creating a memory box can serve as a powerful reminder of the precious memories of a loved one. Although the process can be emotional, happiness found while reflecting on memories and objects stored can offer comfort when you think back on happy times spent together.

Jisu Lee