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How to grieve the loss of a spouse
The loss of a spouse is one of the most heartbreaking and overwhelming experiences a person can have. Spouses are constant companions, people who have supported us through good times and bad, and the loss of such an important person can make the surviving partner feel empty and alone. If you have recently lost a spouse, then you are probably dealing with a surge of emotions and that’s perfectly normal. For everyone out there who is coping with the loss of a spouse, here are some helpful words and tips to guide you through the grieving process, as well as how to pick up the pieces and move on.
Adjust Your Social Life
For many, a spouse was your best friend. You went out alone together, you lived together, confided in each other, and so on. This can naturally create a dependency between significant others for constant companionship, but when one passes away, it can be hard for the others to adjust.
Coming to an empty home after years of the both of you staying there is often one of the first emotional hurdles many surviving spouses face. While this process can be hard, there are ways to aid the healing process, all of which mostly involve leaning on your friends, family, and other members of your support system, not just for sympathy in your grieving, but also in giving you the social interaction all humans need to thrive.
While no one can replace your loved one, laughter, engagement, and swapping stories is vital to emotional, mental, and physical human health. Therefore, if you are feeling isolated because the person you spent the most time with is gone, you should make every effort to talk with your friends more, maybe even make new friends, and ensure that you don’t shut yourself off to the world, as that can cause you harm in the long run.
Coping with Finances
The death of a spouse represents an emotional loss, but it also represents practical losses too, that can equally affect your wellbeing. For example, if your spouse handled all the finances, now you have the added burden of learning how to manage your money or figuring out what bills need to be paid and when.
For men especially, losing a spouse also means that there is no one who cleans the house, or cooks food for them, or runs a lot of the general household maintenance. This can lead to men failing to take care of themselves, both because of grief and because they haven’t had to do it in years, and perhaps a little combination of both since cooking might remind them of their spouse’s meals and such.
In any case, while these actions may be hard, they are most certainly necessary. It’s okay to acknowledge that certain parts of your life may be harder now than when you had someone else around.
Grief takes time, which means that if you’re able to, you might consider hiring someone to clean your house or have prepare meals for you that are easy to reheat. Remember that a part of the healing process, especially in the case of losing a spouse, is to learn how to live your life without them, to live independently and perhaps become a better and stronger person for it.
Seek Help for Complicated Grief
There are some cases where grief is not just grief, but instead becomes a serious depression. If you find that you can’t eat, sleep, are depressed for long periods of time, and that this has been going on for longer than expected with no sign of it getting better, then we suggest you read this article about grief vs. depression. It can tell you whether or not you need professional help, and if your grief has perhaps morphed into something more serious.
Extra Resources for Grief
This article was written in the hopes of guiding you through losing a spouse, but we know that the grieving process is long and difficult, and even though we delved into some of the extra nuances to losing a spouse, your journey does not end here. To get more guidance, here are a few helpful articles that deal with the topic of grief, and most give advice on how to cope in different parts of the grieving process:
We hope you can find some comfort in these words and someday heal from your loss. Although it may seem so hard right now, eventually it will get better. At the end of the day, the memories you created with your spouse are precious and the pain from losing them can be eased by knowing that you two created a life full of love and happiness, and that’s something worth treasuring.