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Grieving Your Younger Self
“I've enjoyed every age I've been, and each has had its own individual merit. Every laugh line, every scar, is a badge I wear to show I've been present, the inner rings of my personal tree trunk that I display proudly for all to see. Nowadays, I don't want a "perfect" face and body; I want to wear the life I've lived.”
We have all been there, it's a Wednesday morning and you're getting ready for work. You tell yourself it will be a busy day and just as you stroll by a mirror, you stop and do something you haven't done in a long time. You take a good look at that person in the mirror. Who is she? Why does she look so tired? And how did she get so old?
Aging is something that unites each and every one of us through culture, class, and background. There are plenty of reasons why one would grieve their younger self. Whether we miss being able to run around and play outside without any joint pain or we long for those days we would spring off the bed in the morning after a night on the town. Here are some things you can do to make aging your friend:
1. Focus on what you can control
One of the main factors in aging gracefully is taking good care of your body. According to the US Department of Agriculture, older adults need a variety of nutrients to maintain their health. Some nutrients include potassium, calcium, vitamin D, dietary fiber, and B12. This also includes eating fruits such as bananas, prunes, and dates, which are rich in potassium and can help maintain healthy blood pressure. Vegetables, such as leafy greens, can help with bone density, while beans, peas, and lentils, are important for a protein-rich diet. Taking good care of your skin is another important factor to consider. Wearing sunblock and protective gear when you are in the sun, helps minimize the risk of skin cancers and prevent premature skin aging including wrinkles and sun spots. Wearing sunblock when outdoors means you can get active while lowering your chances of harming your skin.
2. Cultivate interests that do not depend on youth It is never too late to learn a new language and visit places you have always wanted to go. Websites like Duolingo and Babbel can teach you a new language for free. As you get older you might find yourself wanting to give back to your community. You can try volunteering at an event or a local food kitchen. If you enjoy a more quiet time indoors, there are always jigsaw puzzles!
3. Accept there might be some changes you will not like
There will be some things about aging that are not fun. No one looks forward to more knee and joint pain, but the body will inevitably become slower and maybe a bit more fragile. This is a part of life that can not be changed however, it does not change your worth.
4. Practice radical acceptance and notice the good changes
Luckily, as we grow older, there are things we can look forward to. The experiences you have gathered throughout the years have helped you develop better judgment. You are wiser and more comfortable in your skin. Take this time to be proud that you have made it this far! Radical acceptance is a skill in dialectical behavioral therapy that encourages you to accept reality as it is and helps keep pain from turning into suffering. It is the thought that you will be okay and you will age. Both these things can be true.
Overall, grieving your younger self is part of the human condition. It is something that many people, both young and old face throughout their life. I encourage you to be grateful for how far you have come and embrace the ever changing cycle of life.