Tell close family and friends

Telling close family and friends about the passing of a loved one can be one of the hardest parts of grieving. For many, the death becomes more real when shared with someone else. Here are a few tips on how to handle this careful process:

Decide who should be called right away
- We suggest family members and close friends. And if you would like to, you can ask these family members/friends to tell others, so you don’t have to do it all by yourself.
Prepare what to say and how to say it
- It's better to tell someone in person when you are both sitting down or on a phone call.
- Keep it short. You don’t need to go into lots of detail, and the person may not be able to process a lot of what you tell them.
- Be ready for people to ask questions about how the person passed away.
- Be direct. Don’t discuss other matters or make small talk, even though it may be hard.
- If telling young children, avoid euphemisms for death, things like “being in a better place” or “moving on",” as it may confuse them. For more on how to speak to young children about death, click here
- Remember that everyone reacts differently. They may want to be alone, talk about it, or want a hug.
- Know that it is okay to get upset when telling people.
With time, you can tell a less intimate group of people.
- You can find contacts through phone contacts, phone books, and email accounts. Some people to consider telling include:
  - Employers
  - Groups or organizations the deceased was a part of
  - Doctor of the deceased
  - Accountant or lawyer of the deceased
  - Coworkers or other work-related people
  - Old friends
- And if you would like to, you can ask other people to do this for you.