A caring solution to help you plan for the future and settle affairs after a loss.
How does social media impact a bereaved child?
While social media is impactful in everyone’s lives, its influence is especially pronounced in the younger generation with the growth of technology use in various aspects of their daily lives. According to a study done at the Luther Seminary, “[s]ocial media has become a tool and an outlet that adolescents use to create community, cope with stress, and navigate life, ultimately having a positive and negative affect [sic] on the way that adolescents experience the lament that comes with grief.” In other words, when a child is grieving, social media can be helpful, but it can also raise challenges. If you are wondering whether you should allow your children on social media during a time of bereavement, read on for consideration of some of the positive and negative effects.
Whether it is family, friends, or groups with similar experiences, one positive effect of social media that holds for most situations is that it can provide networks of support. No matter what time a younger person may need support, online platforms offer access to someone to connect with at various times of the day. There are plenty of support groups on Facebook where a younger person who is grieving can share information, ask questions, chat, and support other bereaved people such as Grief Loss and Recovery and Grief Support Groups.
Additionally, posting on social media can be a helpful way for young people to share feelings, rather than keeping to themselves. Allowing young people to share their feelings digitally will be helpful in deciphering their emotions, a diary of sorts for them write down thoughts and grow each day. (For access to worksheets that help one cope with grief—including those for younger people, be sure to click here.)
If privacy or vulnerability are concerns, there are also options to post anonymously such as private mode, creating a new anonymous account, or a private Facebook group so that young people can customize their posts to an audience where they feel comfortable. The above study argues that this anonymity contributes to the feeling among young people that they can express their emotions more deeply than they might in person.
On the flipside, using social media can make young people feel isolated when they are feeling down, overwhelmed, or struggling with thoughts and feelings. It may seem to a young person that everyone is having a great time and enjoying themselves, a contrast that is all the more pronounced if they are in bereavement. However, it is important to remind them that social media only shares snippets and highlights from people’s lives, and that they may also be going through a difficult or sad time that they choose not to share on social media.
One additional drawback is that social media platforms remind people of special dates such as birthdays or anniversaries, which can surprise people. These notifications may be difficult to deal with if a younger person is not ready to see them.
Furthermore, friends and family may also share their memories following bereavement, which may be challenging if young people are not expecting it on their feed. Some tips for younger people to follow include blocking off notifications, or choosing to step away from the phone when you come across sudden and unexpected messages or notifications.
The study cited at the beginning of this article concludes that many adolescents turn to social media because they have control over it, and are attempting to manage their lives and relationship to society in a powerless time. Anonymity also plays a role in why many youth turn to social media. There they can discuss grief and other emotions without the fear of being judged.
It concludes that social media can have a positive effect, building relationships not found elsewhere and allowing for the anonymous or private expression of thoughts young people may be disinclined to voice elsewhere. Through social media, grief becomes an opportunity for the community to show up for someone.
However, young people using social media for grieving purposes—and the families that care for them—should watch out for the negative emotions that social media inevitably gives rise to, and should balance out their digital grief by finding communities and help in the real world if necessary. We leave it up to you, as families, to make the decision yourselves.
For more information on the psychological effects of social media on a grieving child, check out the following links below: